more Diogenes’ replies

At the mansion of a wealthy young man: “Since I had no where else spit, I spit on the fellow himself.  He rebuked me but I responded that he had himself to blame because I didn’t decorate this extravagant hall with such excess, leaving only yourself as a fitting place to spit.”  D. claims the young man then gave away all his wealth and put on a coarse cloak and followed Diogenes.


Since the writing attributed to Diogenes was not actually written by Diogenes, it is possible that the reports of what he said may have been spoken by others.  The Cynic Epistles (Malherbe, 1977) contains passages (trans. Fiore, SJ) ascribed to Diogenes of Sinope who probably did write some letters such as these, but the ones available were written long after Diogenes’ passing into the eternity which he doubted.  Someone revise D.’s words, so I revised them too.


To Aroueca D. writes:  “Know yourself, and if you have anything wrong with you such as stupidity, get a doctor for it and pray he does you more good than harm.”


To Zeno he advises:  “One should not wed or raise children, since our race is weal and marriage and children burden human weakness with troubles….If the human race should thus become devoid of people, how could this be regretted?”


Sometimes it is claimed that Diogenes was stolen by pirates and sold into slavery.  At the sale of the slaves, D. is displayed for purchase and asked if he has any talents.  “Yes, my skill is to rule over men, so if any of you need a master, then I am available.”


Diogenes Laertius reports (D.L. in Google books) of Diogenes (of Sinope)  that D. had issues with Plato who called him a dog, but of course, D. called himself a dog so this should not have offended.  D.L. says Plato defined a human being as a two-footed, featherless animal.  So D. brings a plucked chicken to his school and says, “This is Plato’s man.”


D. L. also says that after the “stand out of my sunlight” reply, Alexander states that if he had not been Alexander he should have liked to be Diogenes.  I suppose Alex would not have liked the living in a barrel thing.